My very first follower: An intimate anatomy of a romance-fed pig. Avoid a broken soul and a butchered bank account
I promised at the end of my first article that I would write a sequel soon. But I did not expect it to happen with such urgency.
Hooray, my first follower!
I joined Substack to follow people who interest me. It is a great, safe place, far from corporations. Soon, I had a user profile. I never thought I would try to write something myself. But life is beautiful because it is often unexpected. I wrote my first article. Then came the classic part: editing, self-doubt, fear, and wanting to delete the post.
But I had my first follower. Her profile looked like mine - a newcomer, a nature lover, “refugee free,” and she had a dog, just like me.
“Okay, we have similar interests. My articles could be useful for her”, my inner voice whispered.
We had our first contact via direct message, then we moved to Substack chat. She started asking personal questions: how old am I, what is my job, am I single, why am I divorced and for how long. Then came a question about the reason for my divorce. This was over my limit. I answered assertively:
“I don’t mind answering, but I think it is not important.”
She understood and slowed down. Maybe it is because of my age, but I have principles. I never ask women about their age or these types of questions. These rapid questions made me feel uncomfortable. It was against my moral values. I changed the topic to our dogs. She shared some general info: she claimed to be from Minnesota (USA), mentioned the weather, the time difference, and said she was a manager and, by the way, a trader. At that moment, her “by the way” question did not seem strange:
“Shall we go to Signal?”
Yes. I did not hesitate. For me, it is more ergonomic - a natural move, as I simply prefer it for chatting.
Moving from Substack to Signal: something starts to smell
The Signal notification arrived in picoseconds. Our debate continued until my polite goodbye (it was 1:00 hour for me, and I wanted to write down ideas for my next articles). In her virtual country, it was 5 PM.
A context window for the reader: Everyone knows the “schizophrenia” of differences like time formats and time zones. In Europe, we use the 24h format, then she use AM and PM for 12h time and different metric (Celsius vs Farenhait for example). Not to mention the cultural differences:)
The next day, she sent the first message:
“Good morning.”
I made a joke that it was already evening here and I was walking my dog. After some general messages, I asked several times if she had read my article and if she had any feedback. Her answers were evasive. I asked her directly: “I had some doubts if I correctly understood the cultural connotations in my article.” Getting inside info from a native would be valuable for me.“It’s understandable, why would she discuss deep politics? Let it be,” I thought.
RED FLAG - STEP BACK!
A few messages after her weak answer, I finally got a response to my question: “What are you looking for on Substack?” Her reply in two messages was unexpected:
“Nothing actually, just making new friends.”
“And looking for investors and business minded too.”
Immediately, my mood changed to disgust. This is not a dating site or a business portal. People come here to read and talk about specific topics. It did not match her profile.
Why mention investing and business without context? There is an ocean between us. I never mentioned investing in my profile. “MINDED TOO” - that sounds like a copy-paste phrase. Why me? Why this thematic jump? I argued with myself. I am a person who is very skeptical about markets. She should have read my posts.
It was time to step back and set boundaries. I wrote assertively:
“I think you have the wrong person. I don’t want to talk about business or investments. Honestly, I didn’t expect this from you.”
She answered immediately:
“You are using the translator wrong, you don’t understand anything at all.”
This made me very unsettled. It hit my self-critical nature. A typical example of Gaslighting.
Regrets trade places with a sobering reality
Many questions were in my head. My confidence was low.
“What did I get wrong? You shouldn’t have reacted like that. What if you insulted her? You are not a native speaker. Calm down, verify, search... don’t be crazy, you’re acting like a paranoiac!”
I started reading the chat history again to understand it. I called a close friend. He speaks English perfectly. I caught him during shopping and explained the situation. His answer: “That is weird, say it again.” I repeated it and added context. In the background, I heard his daughter being impatient. He said: “Don’t worry about it. It’s a fake, fuck it. Have a nice holiday, bye.”
Thirty seconds. It took him thirty seconds to know it was a fraud. But I was already in too deep, drowning in doubts about myself.
We said goodbye, but the thoughts stayed. Is it just a misunderstanding? I wrote to her again: “If I misunderstood, please explain what you meant?” Her answer came quickly:
“I’m looking for new friends, I’m single looking for a relationship too, also if I meet a businessman that we can work together also.”
This confirmed everything. It was a hook. A bait that says: I am single, I am looking for a relationship, and also maybe a businessman. I knew I was not looking for that. I didn’t need to waste time with such a person.
Fact-checking and exposure: typical romance scam
Once trust is broken, there is no way back. I tried to download her profile picture and used a search engine - no result. Profile name - no result. I thought about those copy-paste phrases: “minded too”; “relationship too”.
I decided to put her message into Perplexity without context: “And looking for investors and business minded too.” The result: It looks like generic language and a scam recruitment. I was very unsettled.
I told the girl to unfollow me on Substack and I added more phrases to the AI. The warning was clear: “Pig-butchering warning” - a traditional practice for internet financial fraud. It often starts with a move to encrypted apps like Signal.
I have a strong distrust of AI answers. I try to be careful about confirmation bias. So I went to Google Trends. I entered her Signal name. The search trends correlated with her registration on Substack! I added keywords: “minded too”; “substack scam”; “looking for businessman”.
The correlation and trends were clear. To put it simply: when those suspicious words start popping up everywhere at the same time—IT IS NOT A COINCIDENCE! I was not the only target.
Meanwhile, she sent more messages:
“Get the fuck outta here.”
“Are you an old fool? Did I tell you wanna do business with you?”
And more others. Yes, she unmasked herself. We had a sharp exchange. I was surprised she suddenly started sending messages translated into my native language. :) Suddenly, it was possible! I blocked her and reported her on Signal. An hour later, she blocked me on Substack.
Sobering up and return to normal
I researched many articles on this topic. I needed to be sure I didn’t have to feel guilty.
“Better safe than sorry” is the best defense. Do not lose trust in your own judgment and intuition. Know what you are looking for in the digital space.
I learned my lesson cheaply. It cost me no money, just 2-3 days of communication. My integrity and psyche are fine.
I wrote this article to warn others and to help them avoid the feelings I went through.
You are not alone! Do not feel like you failed, do not feel paranoid. Talk to your friends first (real people, not algorithms). Trust yourself more than I did when I doubted my intuition. Report any suspicion to platform administrators—you are protecting other users by doing so.
During the holidays, talk to your parents and grandparents about these threats. They are the most vulnerable.
“Enjoy the Christmas time in its purest form. With the people you truly care about. Take off the digital masks, leave the virtual reality of algorithms, and be together in reality—where the world is still as it should be.”
Resource Hub: Verified Information & Global Authorities
I. International organisations
II. Global Non-Profit & Anti-Fraud Organizations
Amnesty Tech - Amnesty International
Citizen Lab – University of Toronto
Organized Crime and Corruption Reporting Project | OCCRP
III. Articles
Brian Krebs - Massive Losses Define Epidemic of ‘Pig Butchering’ (krebsonsecurity.com, 2022)
List of RED FLAGS (In my case)
“And looking for investors and business minded too”
“…just making new friends”
“I’m looking for new friends, I’m single looking for a relationship too, also if I meet a businessman that we can work together also.”
Intuition: If there’s suspicion, there’s a high probability it will be confirmed in the given context.
A superficial answer to my specific question about insights from the USA (where she supposedly lives).
Substack is not a dating site nor an investment platform.
Gaslighting methods.
Inducing a sense of guilt.
Follows but shows no interest in content.
Rapid change in communication tone.
Quick and intense extraction of personal information right from the start (how old are you, are you single, divorced, for how long…).
Profile is new (about 3 weeks old).
Profile with minimal posts (in this case, only two).
Lack of interaction with users (no restacks, likes, or comments).
“Too good to be true.”
Single, attractive woman, has a dog, interested in nature (evokes a sense of innocence and harmlessness).
Impossible to trace via nickname or profile picture.
Aggressive behavior as soon as her mask is disrupted.